NELL

1. The Ending
translated by Eduipe

‘Who*’, you were light as a feather, as if to fly away if I blew.
‘Tock**’, you were soft, as if to break if I touched.
Don’t try to hold onto me with those empty words
At impish(mischievous) expectations, all I get are guiltless resentments
You and I, we both know that this has to end here
Even if I wrench away, it’s not as if you wouldn’t be okay
Even if it is as if I am holding onto you, you haven’t got any sensations, or feelings.
Do not try to hold onto me with those empty words
At impish expectations, all I get are guiltness resentments

That it was no one in particular’s fault, I think
That we just couldn’t come to resemble each other, I think.

*onomatopoeia for exhaling sharply.
**onomatopoeia for touching something on the verge of bursting, as if a bubble.



2. Go
translated by jellythecake

On your mark.
Get set and go
On your mark.
Get set and go
Just go
The endless winter, frozen Seoul
Looked towards the sky; it was clouded, the shade of you all over
Struggling to endure one hellish minute
Handful of memories that can’t be discarded
On your mark.
Get set and go
On your mark
Get set and go.
Broken mirror, slanted scales
Tears dripping down the broken face
Running sky, crashing sunset
Those beautiful days that will never come back
On your mark
Get set and go
On your mark
Get set and go
The one who can’t seem to forget is I, not you
My other self that’s trapped in the mirror is your own broken face
The one who can’t seem to forget is I, not you
You, another name of mine. You, another winter of mine



3. In Days Gone By
translated by jellythecake

I couldn’t have known back then
The interminable nights I’ve spent struggling against the restlessness without a resolve.
Countless thoughts were scattered like an unsolvable jigsaw puzzle.
“Erase it from the head”
“Flourish it in the heart”
“Is it as easy as one says?”
Although
If I look back and think about it
I’ve held onto unmanageable amount of emotions,
I’m longing to go back to those days when I could still feel them.
It couldn’t be helped back then
I couldn’t pretend not knowing the sound of time’s footsteps.
Countless emotions clashed and left like a typhoon so everything was a mess
“Erase it from the head”
“Flourish it in the heart”
“Is it as easy as one says?”
Although
If I look back and think about it
I’ve held onto unmanageable amount of emotions,
I’m longing to go back to those days when I could still feel them.
The ticking noise.
The youth probably will be buried underneath that noise
In distant future, it will be left as something to yearn for.

4. 그리고, 남겨진 것들 And, Things Left Behind
translated by Eduipe

In the beginning it was excruciating. I couldn’t accept so it pained me.
But now having accepted, now that is what’s so damn sad.
But, it’s like that. When it dissipates, what does it mean to grasp at it.
Only my heart would ache.
But, I do wonder what it means to be lived on like this.
In the beginning I blamed much. I did do crying a lot too.
But after being like that, I thought ‘what is this?’
Truth be told, it’s like that. When it dissipates, what does it meant to hold onto it.
Only my heart would ache more.
But, I do wonder what it means to be lived on like this.
Sometimes, as if to standstill in the same memory,
As if your time has also stopped, from time to time.
How is the farewell? Is it doable?
Is the pain less as much as you have prepared?
How is the love? Can you do it again?
Truth be told, for me it’s like that. For me, I’m just scared.
This is all that I can say.
I murmur to myself, the words that let you go.
The words that won’t reach you, the words that I let you go.


5. Standing In The Rain
translated by Eduipe

Let’s scribe onto the hearts only those memories that we wish to hold onto
What else can we do
Let’s let go and only suffer to what we can withstand
There’s nothing we can do
It won’t be easy, when the tears that the leaving heart had to shed and the ones shed by the heart staying behind were so uneven.
Nothing’s gonna be alright, but
There were the moments; where every minute and second was precious, where I missed even when I was there with you. Only remember those.
If you yearn and await for those days that won’t come back,
What difference does it make
Even if you muss up the things, straining to fill up the vaccum,
What difference does it make
It won’t be easy, when the tears that the leaving heart had to shed and the ones shed by the heart staying behind were so uneven.
Nothing’s gonna be alright, but
There were the moments; where every minute and second was precious, where I missed even when I was there with you. Only remember those.

That’s enough
Is it pain or is it shame
Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter
We would always stand within that, and the time would just flow along
And there’s no one here to blame
Sincerity is always so powerless
Curmbling away like the sand and spraying out like the waves
And you just can’t stop the rain
Whether you wanted it to or not, someday it falls
And we would stand in it again
And when you’re standing in the rain
There is very little we can do
Our heart would wet, along with the rain.



6. Loosing Control

I’m loosing control
It’s been way too long
Stop fucking with my brain
stop spitting on my pain
I’ll burn you in flame
Will you be the one
I wanna have control
I need some control


7. Beautiful Stranger

Strange
I barely know you, but yet I feel deeply connected to you
Crave
I never had you, but yet I feel so lonely without you
Beautiful Stranger
Safe
I barely know you, but yet I feel secure when I’m with you
Strange
I don’t even know you, but yet I feel so strong and bold when I’m with you
Beautiful Stranger
My Beautiful stranger

I know it sounds a little strange
but it will never be the same
It’s like being locked up in a cage
It will never be the same
Nothing’s lost but I feel shamed
and there ain’t no one here to blame
well, do you even know my name
I was right there when you came
It will never be the same


8. Cliff Parade
translated by jellythecake

The moment it departed from my lips those words became clotted
Impoverished truth,
Mingled and entwined. It was always so far away yet close
The unclad shadow
Anywhere it stares
Anywhere it touches
Everything vanishes
Let it crash
Whether if it’s a hope at the end of the cliff
Or just a just a dead end
It was my salvation and yet a different death
The twisted shadow
Let it crash


9. Hopeless Valentine
translated by Eduipe

The faltering light says to me,
“I will make you forget all”
The stare that aches with me beckons me,
“I will hide you within here”
Hopeless Valentine
The hand left with nothing but scars caresses me,
“I will console your solitude”
The meaningless lips are quite busy,
“I will sing for you”
I couldn’t say anything
There was no one, there.
There was no miracle
When there is always someone who needs someone.
My beloved valentine


10. Slip Away
translated by jellythecake

Until the last moment you’ve consoled me
But it’s as if you don’t know. What is it that makes me miserable
I swell up at the days that are to be forgotten
More so than for the days when I will be left alone
It pains me that I can’t give you
More so than I can’t have you
“I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanted to tell you”
You turned away, but even then you worried about me
But it’s as if you don’t know what is it that makes things so hard on me
It’s not the
Loneliness that is left alone,
The tear stained heart,
Entwined moment,
The one and only truth,
It’s the sorrowfulness that everything that will be forgotten
I swell up at my image even erasing the memories
The image that I would get so familiar with
“I never meant to hurt you
Only wanted to tell you”
“That I am still in love with you”